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Monday, December 20, 2010

What are your thinking habits?

"Even people who are not geniuses can out think the rest of mankind if they develop certain thinking habits" ~ Charles Darwin

What are your thinking habits? Most people I talk with never even think about their habits of thought. Their thoughts have them rather than the individual being deliberate and having thoughts that support their desires. Why is that? Because we are lazy and sloppy when it comes to thinking. Yes, that's the bottom line, we are lazy and sloppy. But the good news is that lazy and sloppy can be transformed to deliberate and focused. The key to the transformation is what you believe about yourself, which is nothing more than habits of thought.

The woman that I wrote about in the last post that was trusting in fear rather than trusting in Love, had a habit of thought that she couldn't trust, even though she was in fact very trusting, she just trusted in fear rather than Love and well being. When she realized this, she was amazed and could not understand why someone would do that to themselves. I told her that she was engaging in another thought habit that was not serving her, that being victim rather than owner. She got a little miffed at the victim comment until I said, "Just own it, don't ponder it or devote time to wondering what is wrong with me that I would do something so lacking in self respect". We discussed that her trusting in Fear could actually be a springboard for her experiencing a Love and well being that she could have never imagined because she now knows the opposite of that Love and well being.

I asked her to think about a relationship in which her partner was not verbally, emotionally or physically abusive and talk about what happened. She said that her relationships were always abusive in some form. I probed a little more and asked her to tell me about one that was not physically or verbally abusive. She related that her partner was having an affair and it was devastating when she found out. I asked her how she found out, and she said she never actually caught him but he had many female friends and she knew he was being unfaithful, she could feel it. He was not emotionally or intimately available for her, and she felt betrayed. She said the moment she realized it, she had always known that it would happen.

I asked her "what if it were not true? What if he was not having an affair, and he was committed to you?". She just shook her head "no". What if it was just your trust in fear creating a reality for you that was in fact not accurate? She finally, conceded that If that were true, then she and her trust in fear created the emotional abuse that she relegated to her partner. I told her that regardless of the fact that he was having an affair or not didn't matter, because she did not know for a fact, but she created the experience based on her thoughts that she was being abused again and that is what she got.

At this point she asked, "but if I just trust blindly in Love and trust, aren't I just opening myself up to be hurt again?". I told her there is nothing blind about trusting in Love. When you rest in Love and know that Love is what you are and that it is expansive and creative and where growth comes from, there is no room for deceit or abuse. Those situations don't exist in the presence of love, but they very much exist in the presence of fear, and mostly in your thoughts or perceptions. Just think about it, what seems more reasonable, trusting in Love or Fear? And trusting in each, what kind of thought environment are you creating?

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