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Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Ending of a relationship!

The ending of a relationship means one thing and one thing only. You grew and expanded past which the relationship could further provide you with the opportunity for growth. Now, this is just my take, actually it's the take of many sages and teachers over the ages that I just happen to agree with.

But what about if the person was my soul mate? Most people believe that their soul mate is the one that they spend the rest of their life with in and out of total bliss. Most people also believe that they have but one soul mate! And how limiting is that? That is not to say that you can't spend your entire life with one person and be in bliss, you can!!! The most important soul mate connection you can have though is with yourself. You don't have a soul, you are a soul....connect with it, align with it, and life aligns with you.

How do you do that? Align with your soul and Life? Well, being sad that a relationship has ended or is not working out the way you would like it to is not the way. Okay spend a good 15 minutes, feeling sad or hurt or depressed about not being wanted by the other person or the other person not meeting your expectations, if you need to, but get over it. And I don't mean toss aside your feelings for the other person, good lord, you just had a relationship with the person, they obviously have some positive aspects to them. What I mean is, get over the fallacy that your sad or upset because the relationship didn't work out, it's never about that. Your sad or upset or even down right pissed off because you are not aligned with your true self and your using the relationship as just your excuse to be. Choose better thoughts!!!

How much more empowering is it to think, well the relationship ended and while it would have been great for it to continue in the mode when things were blissful and all was well, it didn't! And while it has ended, boy was it enjoyable when it was good, I experienced love and bliss like never before, and I grew from being in the relationship and I will always have the Love that I realized I am from having had the relationship!!! And I know that what I learned from this relationship has allowed me to grow and my next relationship will be even more enjoyable because of this one.

I am certain of having numerous soul connections in my relationships. I know because of the feeling that I was immersed in during those relationships, and while the intimate physical relationship has ended, I still have that close connection with each of those beautiful women and they have their own experience of the relationship as well. I connect with them frequently with my Love energetically. One ended in a not so nice split at the time the relationship ended and one ended and we never skipped a beat, we just went our different paths. The one that ended not by design has since been repaired and we are close, have great respect for each other and what we have brought into this world. The one that ended without skipping a beat while we are connected, we are on different paths and have the occasional reconnect via text or e-mail. We served a purpose by hooking up and are both better for having been together and grew as each of us needed. That's what soul mates do. Sometimes for a short term, sometimes for the long term in physical proximity but eternally in spirit. It's up to you how to play out the growth gained from your soul mates.

So when one relationship ends, relish it as the growing experience that it was for you and the other person, see it as a stop in your journey called life that added to YOU by allowing you to grow by remembering more about who you have always been. And keep perspective of how life works, it's suppose to be easy and flowing, not hard and painful and that's not some Pollyanna philosophy, it's true!!

Now in closing how do you want to create your next relationship? From cherished thoughts of how blissful, enjoyable and rewarding your past relationships have been (even if only at times) or anything less than that? Go with the cherished positive thoughts and your next soul mate will be who you create your next blissful rewarding relationship with.......the alternative is, well I'm not going there.

By the way, when your coming from your aligned self, sex transcends sex......it's ecstasy that takes you to another space!!! Go there!!

Thursday, August 19, 2010

What we resist, persists!!!

I'm not a news junkie at all, as a matter of fact, the only news I watch or read is AC 360, kind of unbiased fact reporting with good guests and not deterred from taking on any story. I use some of the stories for being deliberate in creating my perspective based on how it feels as opposed to getting wrapped up one way or another on the emotion or past conditioning around the topic.

Lately there has been much ado about the proposed Mosque to be built two blocks from ground zero in lower Manhattan. The vast majority of people apparently oppose it being built there, not that it's built, just the location of being so close. It is being labelled as insensitive to those that were killed in the 9/11 attack as well as to their surviving families. I can understand that position, but do not agree with it and not for political reasons, and not even for the constitutional reason of religious freedom that many have taken, including President Obama.

I don't agree because I like to be deliberate in my thinking and how my thinking creates my own experience and how it co-creates with the collective. Resisting or pushing back on anything is not progressive and does not achieve the elimination of the thing that one resists, it actually keeps it in play. How is the war on drugs working out, or the war on illegal immigrants, or the war on terrorism? Yeah, not all that well, Congress just passed a bill to spend another $200 million dollars on border containment!!

Yeasterdays post was about utilizing negative thoughts to your benefit, and it's not some polyanna philosophy, it's actually science. Physics, to be exact!! Your thoughts measure or act upon the infinite waves at the quantum level of all material potentiality collapsing into existence things that are resonant with your thoughts and feelings. Hence, the axiom, you don't get what you want, you get what you are!!

So, once again how do you know what you are? Look at what is consistently showing up for you in your experience!! It's that simple. The organization that I work for wants to win the JD Power and Associates award for Customer Service, we consistently come in second place to One of our competitors and yesterday we found out that once again we came in second to them again. The leaders of the organization "want" to win the award, but they do not lead the organization in a way that that is what we "are". The reason I stay with the company is because everyday I get to learn about and play with the approach of becoming what we want as opposed to "wanting" what we want. I'm there because I use the environment to grow, learn about myself and be progressive.

Every moment of everyday is an opportunity to recreate yourself into what you want, so what are you doing about it? Be deliberate, make those small changes in your daily routines that support you being more of what you desire to be, do or have. Establish those small disciplines that change who you are to be more aligned with your desires and more of those desires will align with you, that is Life!

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Negative thoughts and how to leverage them

Everyone has them, but how can you leverage them. Use them for what they are there for. They identify for you what you don't want, which allows you to better know what you do want. Be curious about them, don't judge them, don't banish them or beat yourself up for having them...be curious about them. What I mean by curious is this, be open!! Open to what might be, or what might come next after having these thoughts.

Many times when someone finds themselves at a point of transition or transformation in their life, there is a tendency to look back and judge their past, like "how did I ever get involved with that person" or "I feel like I have wasted so much time" or "what have I really accomplished?". It's easy to do this, but those thoughts in that context don't serve us or moving forward into the future and what might be, they can actually have the opposite effect and allow the future to be a similar repeat of the past. Being curious about these types of thoughts creates an open door for inspiration.....or "in spirit". Changing them just slightly to "what was the meaning of me getting involved with that person?", or "what have I learned from my time being involved with that person?" allows for insight into who we truly are and who we are becoming.

Life is a process of progression or it is not, the choice is always ours. Life is progressive, expansive and ever changing and we facilitate the becoming more of who we have always been by being open, loving and curious......being excited about what we may become, what insights we will have, what we will create next. Be progressive, not stagnant. It's never about the other person, the job or the situation, it's always about how we think about the other person, the job or the situation. And how we think is always our choice. Choose progressive curious and loving thoughts, and you will have more of them.

And when you have judgmental or negative thoughts, embrace them as an opportunity to explore the contrast that they provide for you. I like to tell myself when I catch myself in the middle of a negative thought, "that's interesting, I wonder what that means?". It never fails to deliver me a new and curious way of seeing things, which generally leads me to a more expansive and positive perspective of the situation. And isn't that what we want at the end of the day, and expansive, progressive and loving state of being?

Yeah, I think so.......be the Love that you are, embrace those negative thoughts as an opportunity to expand your thinking by being curious and open to what you may become for having had them and then transforming them to what you do want as opposed to what you don't want!!

Every moment of everyday is an opportunity for you to become the greatest vision you have yet to have for yourself, or it isn't, make it so!!

Monday, August 2, 2010

What model is your life operating in?

Model of life? Yes, Model! Everyone has several that are in play at different times depending on where you are in your thinking. Auto pilot or working from your subconscious and the beliefs that reside there is much more powerful than most people give it credit for being. Then there is deliberate consciousness which is where you question or are curious about what could be. And at times varying widely from person to person, there is the super conscious that we allow to guide us in doing things our subconscious is conditioned not to believe are possible.

One of my mentors uses the following story to demonstrate the difference in models or modes of thinking (or life). An anthropologist was working in Africa with a Pygmy aboriginal tribe of people. On a walk in the bush, he comes across the tribe's leader with his right foot raised up on a fallen elephant. The leader not much more than five feet tall was proud of his trophy. The anthropologist asked the leader, "how did you bring down the elephant?". The leader said proudly, "With my club!" to which the anthropologist asked, "how big is your club?". The village leader replied "About 300 members".

Most people think in the context of that story that a club is a big stick or tree branch used to hit the elephant, as opposed to the entire village working in numbers to down the giant. That is because of the model we operate within, which is based upon an accumulative sum of all our past experiences that make up what reality is for us. Some people may call it a paradigm. But in truth, at the quantum level which makes up everything that exists materially, that model of beliefs collapses the infinite into the finite, in other words, it reduces what could be to exactly what we believe things to be. What we take to be real.

Now many things that we take to be real, or some of the components of the model we operate in do not serve us in accomplishing what we desire. Luckily desire is not creative, willingness is. You can have all the desire in the world to have whatever, you can want it more than anything in the world, and not achieve it. But if your willing to become the person that can have what you desire, it will be yours. You don't get what you want, you get what you are.

One of the most common desires that people talk with me about is more money. They usually phrase the issue with one of the following statements, "I'm in debt and want to be debt free" or "if I could just increase my income by X amount, I would be set" or "I want to have enough money to not think about if I can buy something". Each of these statements has a belief embedded in the basis of the statement that is not supportive of the desire, a contradiction or counter intention that overrides the desire. I never try to imply the limiting non supportive belief is wrong or bad, resisting it will only reinforce it. What I try to do is get the person to see it in a different way, looking at as either reasonable or unreasonable.

Take the last statement, "I don't want to have to think about if I can buy something", implies that they have the money to buy it, but believe they shouldn't or at least they need to think about whether they should. Now there are myriad reasons that this belief may be taken to be real, but at the root of it is a belief that the source of their income may end or is limited. And is that reasonable just based upon how long they have been generating that income? The amount of their income, be it $20,000.00 or $2,000,000.00 a year is not the point, it's the stream of income and the fact that they may have worked in several different jobs earning that stream, but here they are, with a stream of income.

Think about the planet, is there a shortage of water, is there a shortage of plants, or animals, or sand on the beach? Is there a shortage of bacteria to digest the oil in the gulf and within a nanosecond relative to the age of the planet restore the ecosystem back to healthy? Don't think so!!! The universe is abundant and expanding every second, How about you?

My point in this post is to question your thoughts as being reasonable in light of being the divine being you are, or are they unreasonable. Limiting Beliefs in and of themselves are not bad, they just don't serve us when we take them to be real. Something not working out for you? Question your thinking, do you have a contradiction in what belief you are operating from and what your desires are? If so, change your model by working with that contradiction or belief and see what can be different......what can be different is always you!!! Always, so choose the you that serves your desires.