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Monday, November 8, 2010

Aligned Parenting 1.1

Just an update on my efforts at being aligned in my parenting. First note, it is much more of a challenge to be aligned in this arena than in almost every other area of life. Why is that? Well, for a number of reasons, not the least of which is that as a parent you want nothing but the best for your children. The second most prevalent reason is that we are conditioned to think that as parents we know what is best for our children, and in most cases if not all, that just is not true. Nobody knows better for anyone than your true self and that holds true for our children as well.

So back to aligned parenting. What it is not, is having your children do whatever they want whenever they want, or is it? Let me clarify. You have desires for and of your children. They have their own desires that will hopefully take precedent over anyone else's desires. If their desires are relegated as secondary to yours or anyone else's, they will become pleasers and become so out of alignment with their true self that nothing good can come from their pleasing. How could that be? Because nothing lasting or creative comes from a place of out of alignment. That could be a whole post topic by itself and probably will.

Back to aligned parenting 1.1. My son's Mom and I have the desire for Nick to do well in school and learn while having fun with it. Aligned parenting for me is that when I talk to him about his school work, I need to be in a good place free from frustration. Essentially I need to be aligned with my true self and be in a high vibe tapped into my infinite potential. Why? Because that is where I am most creative and influential in a positive way. That is where easy dialogue takes place between me and my son or anyone else that I may be interacting with. That is where I am most resonant with my desires. Remember, you don't get what you want, you get what you are.

By me interacting with Nick from alignment, it becomes easy for him to be in alignment. Alignment comes much easier for kids because they have not had years of conditioning that tends to take them out of alignment. When they interact with someone that is aligned they tend to slide right back into closer alignment, and when they are in alignment, they tend to attract others that are in alignment.

So how do I know he is in alignment when we are discussing his school? The way he engages me in the dialogue we are having. It's easy dialogue, we are enjoying the moment, we are even laughing. He isn't shut down and or withdrawn like when I am the least bit frustrated. He offers information about his classes or teachers, he isn't placing blame on the teachers for not giving him credit. He is engaged in the dialogue. And what I mean by dialogue, is I have no agenda to accomplish, I'll ask him a question and then see what comes from both of us with no preconceived notion of what I want from the interaction.

Oh, and he cleans his room, does his work around the house.....well, I might have to ask him to pick up the dog poop, but not more than once and he does it. And this weekend, he asked me if I had the movie "What the Bleep do we know" and the book "The Secret". Which tells me he is tapping into his True Self and wants to learn more. Luckily he has a wealth of information and resources available to him. He can tap into me, his Mom and others that will allow him discover for himself how things work and how what he thinks and feels affect his experience. I'll be here as a resource when he wants to ask or dialogue on deliberate creating.....and by me being an aligned parent, he will spend more time in alignment himself and find his way with my help or on his own.....but on his own terms.

The best way for me to teach him is to be the best example of what being in alignment can mean for me and everyone I interact with. Words don't teach!! Aligned living teaches and understanding that everything is about relationship......the relationship you are having with YOU.......I'm nurturing my relationship with myself, and once again one of my son's has taught me a very valuable lesson.......time to step up my relationship game!!!

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