Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Aligned Parenting 1.2

One of my favorite teachers reminds me that "The world is the Self writ large". This is important to remember in Aligned Parenting because our intentions or what we take to be real (our beliefs) can very much have an influence on our children. Asking ourselves some important introspective questions about what is showing up in our lives can enlighten us to what our intentions are and if they are serving us or not. These questions also reveal to what extent we are aligned or not aligned. Is the SELF and the self in alignment or not?

The same teacher that reminds me the world is the self writ large, related a story of a coaching session that took place. A couple had a young son, a toddler that when it rained the child would go outside and remove a plant from a planter in the yard and bring it into the house and drop it right in the middle of the carpet leaving a muddy, dirty mess. The parents related how they had tried everything from gently convincing the child not to do this, to stern scolding and time outs, all of which had no effect at curtailing the behavior. The coach, having no preconceived notion of what the issue might be, but being aware that the world is the self writ large asked the parents, "what have you been sweeping under the rug and not dealing with?". The father immediately answered, "finances". The couple had been avoiding dealing with an impending financial issue. They immediately addressed it and worked through it rather than avoiding it and the toddler never again brought a muddy mess into the house.

Now, some people would say that's ridiculous, how could that be, a toddler tapping into the unconscious behavior of the parents and why would the child resort to that behavior even if he did tap into the unconscious of the parents? Because children are very intuitive, especially at that age, they sense angst or uneasiness and their SELF (the tapped in, ineffable eternal Self) then acts in ways to provide insights. Why else would a toddler behave that way, and only when it rained? To make a point, but all too often as parents we don't take the time to stop and ask "What does that mean?" or "What is that trying to mirror for me to understand?"

My inner being or SELF is very goos about getting me messages, and brought to me the story of the toddler in light of my son's school work challenges and the writing that I have been doing about intentions, and being aligned. And like a brick upside my head it dawned on me that "the world is indeed the self writ large". For me, and my son not turning his school work in, even in some cases when he had completed it was the analogy that I was not completing my work. I'm not talking about my job, but to an extent even that is true. My work is ME!! I have not been taking care of all the different areas of my life....and I'll spare you the details.

How could I be certain of this? By how it felt, the moment it dawned on me what his school challenges meant to me, it was energizing, and really of no great surprise. I had been thinking I needed to get busy with this or that, getting myself back into physical shape, spending more time productively moving myself forward, etc. I have a list of things that I have wanted to complete but have put them off for no apparent reason. Of course I know the reason now and can't wait to see what comes from this.

Why bare my soul in this forum? Because that is what his blog is about. Recreating yourself at any given moment. Adding to life rather than subtracting, being deliberate in the life you desire to create and viewing the world for exactly what it is, "The self writ large"!!!

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