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Saturday, September 4, 2010

Open....an autobiography by Andre Agassi

Have yet to read it, but I bought it as a kindle edition for my Ipad. I generally don't read autobiographies except "Ben Hogan" but that another post I need to get to later. Last night I saw an interview clip of Agassi on AC 360 (one of my favorite shows) and Agassi was talking about how much he hated playing tennis during his career. Anderson Cooper asked him "but you were so good, how could you hate something and be so good?". Agassi's response very humbly was "I never reached my potential"......well you don't have to be a huge tennis fan to know what a great tennis career he had, tumultuous at times, but very accomplished and decorated.

The book accounts for his upbringing and manufactured tennis game and loss of his genuine self until later in life and then what he is doing now which is more aligned with his souls desire. As he was talking to Anderson, you could see he was in a good place, connected with his spirit and not hanging on to any Judgements or ill will toward his father for his childhood. He is at peace with who he is and his life has taken on a new direction through his alignment with himself and life itself.

Lately, I have had many conversations with individuals about parenting and what the best approach is. Generally speaking, parents don't believe that their children know what's best for them, so they lay down rules and things they should do and things they should not do. Children are tapped into life and who they are yet in most cases as they grow up and spend more time adhering to the "ground rules" of being good children, they lose touch with their true selves and begin adapting to the norms of their parents or society.

Studies have shown that infants know what nourishment they need for well being, when they are presented with a variety of food choices, they will always choose the most nourishing food and stay away from things that are not as nourishing. Whole food sources are always chosen over refined food sources or those that are not as sustaining. Until that is, when their systems are maligned with refined sources or sugars, treats and such. The point is they know what is best for them!!

My oldest son, who is one of my favorite teachers, smokes pot, I know it, he knows I know it and we have talked about it. He knows I smoked weed when I was his age and he knows that I don't now. His mom thinks he should be drug tested randomly, I refuse to do that, and he knows my expectation of him is that he does not bring it into the house or property. Some of my colleagues at work are flabbergasted to know that I know he smokes and "do nothing" about it. My approach is to help him make the best choices that he can make for himself, and learn from the choices he makes.

Abe uses the analogy of when a toddler is learning to walk, and they take a few steps and then fall, you "don't say "get up you little dummy", they are learning and you try to help them but ultimately they have to learn themselves. We as parents need to let our kids learn for themselves and be themselves which includes making the best decisions for themselves. Think about it, when you put all these controls on kids, what do you think happens when they are away from you? They do what they want, and if the controls are too restrictive, they just do everything that is opposite of the controls you have placed on them.

This is not to say they need consequences, talk to them about what contributions you would like to see from them and what latitudes you give them because you trust them to make good decisions and then let them live and make mistakes, and when they make mistakes don't get pissed at them. Sit down and talk to them about what they learned. Making mistakes and learning from them is what life is about, and it's what allows for growth and transformation, and children are on a fast track of growth and transformation if allowed to be.

Now some people will say, that's just irresponsible, you can't just let kids do whatever they want. I say, yes you can, if you assist them in making sense of the experiences they have. That's the most responsible thing you can do as a parent, help teem make sense of their world, so when your not with them they have a foundation of how life works that allows them to align with life and be in love with life!!!

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