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Saturday, October 23, 2010

Aligned parenting version 1.0

Yes, version 1.0....this is an ongoing evolution with many iterations. So this week, my son's Mom received news of more missing assignments and grades slipping. Frsutrating for her, she gets all the bad news from school. But I am committed to being an aligned parent and know that change does not happen overnight, or does it?

Yesterday afternoon, when my son arrived for the weekend, I made sure that before I spoke to him about his school, I was aligned.....meaning I was anything but frustrated or anxious. I was at ease, I know he is a tapped in, tuned in old soul and there is nothing to worry about especially when I am deliberate in where I am when I interact with him. It's all good and with the right approach his grades will turn around in a heartbeat. Oh, and they are just grades!!! Okay that one will send some peeps over the edge, but I call it as I see it. Am I being irresponsible as a parent to take that perspective? NO!!! I'm being very responsible for my well being, which is where I am most responsible for my parenting.

So a little perspective on interactions about school in the past with my son. By me being even a little out of alignment with my true tapped in Self, the interactions were text book conventional; parent talking at the child, making attempts to connect with the child, but ultimately the child is shut down. Now this doesn't mean I was yelling at him, I don't do that, I was talking calmly about how important school is and even throwing in a little strengths coaching to allow him to use his natural talents to make it easier for him to do the work. His answers were generally the same, he didn't know why he didn't do his homework and then that eventually escalated to his teachers are not keeping track of his assignments and then nobody is doing well in the class, placing blame on the teacher.......which resulted in what, parents frustration level heightening (moving further out of alignment) and nothing changed. Oh he might make some baby steps, but the issue keeps escalating. Not the desired outcome, but conventionally I was being a responsible parent by grounding him, taking away privileges, his phone, etc..........all of which did not work to achieve the desired result.

It's not about the school work, it's not about the grades, it's about my relationship with myself and his Mom's relationship with herself. It's always about that, that's all we have. It comes down to, do we want life to be easy or painful? That's it, nothing more!!! And where does easy come from? Tapped in alignment with your True Self, with the divine, the infinite potential that we always have access to when we allow it.

So, the aligned parenting conversation with my son went something like this, well exactly like this. I asked him how school was doing? He said pretty good, he had a D and some missing assignments but was working on getting them turned in. I asked him what class the D was in, he said reading......and I smiled with no angst on my part, just amused by his story of how all the kids were struggling with reading. The conversation evolved to an open dialogue (with smiles and yes, laughter) about how easy it would be if he just did his homework and turned it in.....and both of us were smiling the entire time. At one point, I made the comment that his teachers would think about him differently which would impact the way they graded his work and wouldn't think about him as a "flunky". He laughed and said he couldn't believe I called him a "flunky"........the point being we had an open dialogue with both of us coming from our true tapped in aligned Selves......not the contrived concerned parent using an authoritative or punitive approach to force the child to conform.

So we will see what happens, but my approach will always be coming from the aligned parent which then makes it easier for his actions to flow naturally from the aligned Nick, which is where his best actions will always come from. We don't get what we want, we get what we are! Aligned parent doesn't want anything but for their child to be aligned, and that is what the aligned parent gets because that is what they are!

Oh, and it works for pets as well.......because it works for everything. There is nothing, and I mean nothing more important than your well being!! For you and everyone you interact with, because where you are coming from very much can impact those other people, especially if they are out of alignment. And when you are in alignment, the impact is always positive, but not always obvious. So the next time someone is "pissing you off" think about where that is coming from. Is it really them, or is it you just being out of alignment with your True Self? It's always you, and the relationship you are in with yourself! Period! And thank goodness, because you always have control of that!

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