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Sunday, October 3, 2010

Intentions for other people, do they work?

You can always intend for others but the effect of the intention is always up to the individual based upon resonance and where they are. Someone asked me what I mean when I say intention. Is it using will power, or are they affirmations? For me and the purpose of intentions is to determne the state of mind you want, they are where you are, they determine the "what you are" of the mantra "we don't get what we want, we get what we are". And inasmuch as that is what they are, they are always in play and they can very much have an effect on other people. So it's wise to be deliberate in what you are as defined by your intentions.

An example that presented itself to me is in parenting. My youngest son is not doing so well in school. It's not because he isn't smart, it's because he isn't turning in some of his work assignments. His Mom and I have both talked to him about just turning the assignments in and his grades would be fine. It's become frustrating (make a note of this) for his Mom and I both and we have had to resort to restricting his activities. His Mom, who is one of my favorite people of all time and I have talked about how best to help him get back on track in a empowering way, identifying some intrinsic motivation for him to turn in his work some of which he completes, he just doesn't turn it in.

It's clear that his actions are not congruent with what he says he will do and the restrictions of not being able to see his girlfriend or have his friends over are not working as well. I came home Sunday night and found his backpack in his room at my house which is where he stays on the weekends. I sent him a text asking him if he needed his backpack and he repiled "No, I'll just use my back pocket to carry stuff". I took the backpack over to his Mom's house and dropped it off for him to have. I told him very calmly, that he needed to have his grades up by the end of the month or he would lose his phone. He agreed, but the moment I said those words, I knew that didn't feel right. It just didn't sit well with me and I thought about it for awhile. I knew the approach we were taking was not working, yet I had just escalated it (conventional parental conditioning).

Then Bam, it hit me and the energy associated with the thought was so palpable I knew it was the answer. Ade, my son's Mom is a very tapped in, tuned in soul and it became very obvious that mine and her frustration with the situation was having an effect on Nick, and not the influence we wanted. It was so inexplicable that he would actually do some of the work that was missing and then not turn it in. Well, we were getting what we were......frustrated and concerned with our son who was not turning in school work and he was reciprocating with behavior that was resonant with our state, or intention surrounding his school work.

So the answer is, and this is a work in progress, so I will keep the blog updated, but it's for his Mom and I to get in alignment with our True Selves and have that state influence Nick in a manner that he becomes aligned with his True Self when we are talking about school and his work. For me that means getting quite and having aligned thoughts about him and how tapped in he is and how wonderful it is for him to have parents that while they are divorced are very close friends and want to parent him in a guiding manner that allows him to know himself and what he is capable of. I think about the awesome things that he has done and the lessons (like this one) that I have learned as his father. I think about the divine being that he is and his infinite potential for experiencing life and all it has to offer, both the contrast and the flow of life, resting in knowing that he will be fine and that as I keep myself aligned with myself and life that is the best parenting that I can do for him.

The point here is not to just let him run amuck, I know he won't do that anyway......the point is for me and his Mom to be aligned with ourselves when we talk to him about his school work and progress, for us to be in the state that will allow for a positive influence from our intentions rather than one that does not sit well for us or him (an influence that is not resonant with his tapped in divine being). It's all about state and the influence that we want to have is the one that comes from aligned parenting.....from the heart.

Now, trust me, I know this is not easy.......and I am struggling with it after I actually applied this approach to my older son when he moved in with me several years ago, in six months, he went from failing classes to making honor roll in his high school. We have been conditioned to parent from an authoritative state and have consequences in place when expectations are not met........the issue is this, if you parent from your own aligned, tapped in Self, the consequences are irrelevant because your child will be in correspondence with your alignment and do what is best for their alignment.

Think about it, when you were young and under your parents roof, you were told what to do......and if you were sternly told what to do.......what did you do? Exactly what you were told not to do!!! Because the person who told you sternly was out of alignment which then had an out of alignment influence on you.......align with life and life will align with you...........and yes your intentions can influence others, so be deliberate in the state that you are spending time in as much as possible.........get what you are, an aligned experience of Life.

I love you Ade, and trust this will resonate with you and we will discuss further!! And much Love to everyone else as well!!!

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