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Sunday, January 16, 2011

The Love that you are

Be the love that you are! What does that mean? Well, at it's basis is the truth that our essence is pure positive Love. Before we come into the physical world we are spirit for lack of a better term. And as spirit we are consciousness, connected to all that is, both physical and non-physical, and as such we are the source of all that is. Blasphemy some people will think, and that's okay. More on why that's okay later.

While we are in the physical world, our non-physical essence is always with us, everyone has experienced when we are in tune with that part of us. When you are deliberate about your thinking it is easiest to be in tune (aligned) with your essence. For the purposes of this post, I'll call our essence the Divine Self. So your Divine Self is always with you but not always in play. When your Divine Self is in play, there are no problems. You are inspired, you are accepting, you have no agenda and the "just right" thoughts, words and actions emerge from seemingly nowhere.

What keeps you from alignment with your Divine Self is focusing on what you don't want and that is generally something that is happening right now. When you experience something in the "right now" it is the result of thinking and actions from a previous moment, either from out of alignment or from in alignment with your Divine Self. So your thoughts and actions now are creating your future, either what you do want or what you don't want depending upon your alignment at the time. Make sense?

For instance, as a parent, you have been conditioned to think (believe) that you know what is best for your child. Out of desire for their life experience to be safe, enjoyable and successful, as a parent you guide them in what they should do. Now, they have a Divine Self as well, which is not a child, its just a Divine Being. The best guidance a parent can provide to a child is to be aligned with their Divine Self. And the best way to provide that guidance is to demonstrate being aligned as frequently as possible and when you find yourself out of alignment, to deliberately move back toward alignment.

The challenge most parents have with aligned parenting is the attachment to an outcome of how they want their child to behave. And so when the child does not comply with the parents expectation, bam, the parent is out of alignment and has an interaction with the child from out of alignment which does nothing but perpetuate the frustration. Take as an example, a parent finds a child up past bedtime playing a video game. Upset, the video game is taken away and the child admonished about being up so late and school is tomorrow and the child needs his sleep so that they are not cranky in the morning, blah, blah, blah. The light is turned out, and the child lays in bed thinking about what just happened.

Conventional wisdom would agree that punishment needs to be applied for misconduct. But, how is that working really? Oh, it might change some behavior, but is it really effective for preparing a child for success? Look how well it works for adults that break the law? Criminal activity is nothing more than a symptom of chronically being out of alignment. That is why most criminals are repeat offenders.

An aligned parenting interaction might be like this. The parent, upon finding the child up late playing the game, might smile and ask the child "can't sleep?". Then tell the child that rest is important for the next day to be fully enjoyed, and that if they close their eyes, and quite their thinking, sleep will come easily and just right for what they need for the next day. The next morning, the aligned parent might check in on the child to see if they are rested, and if the child is cranky, the parent would have a conversation with the child about the result of not being rested is how they feel right now and that they trust the child to decide how much rest they need each night. When left in alignment, the child will always make good decisions that are best for them.

If this approach is taken consistently, its much easier for the child's Divine Self to be in play and guide the child in what is best for them. And if they make a mistake, and they will, a lesson will be learned. Contrast, or what you don't want is how you better know what you do want and its much more effective when noticed from alignment. If the parent chooses to impose consequences, the effectiveness of those consequences is determined by how aligned the parent is when implemented. Your alignment affects the child's alignment and how they process the consequence.

In closing, I want to go back to the blasphemy issue. Blasphemy is contrast, and nothing more than a construct of a set of beliefs. Maybe my beliefs are wrong, maybe I'm way off base, but I'll stay with my beliefs because of how they feel to me, that is how I determine "truth" for me. To those that would say "blasphemy", I would ask "How does that feel?" when you assign that meaning to another persons beliefs. Be the Love that you are and others will be the love that they are.

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