Ah, YEAH!!!

"If you are distressed by anything external, the pain is not due to the thing itself but to your own estimate of it; and this you have the power to revoke at any moment."

Marcus Aurelius

I was talking to one of my best friends the other day and the topic turned to how fickle people can be with how they feel about another person. Someone is in Love with another person until the other person does or says something that the first person does not like, or sometimes it is just what they appear to have done. At work, people are held in high regard until they do something that does not support their peer or manager. Just like that they can go from the fast track to hitting a glass ceiling.

So as we talked, I said "you know what would change everything, and again it is all perspective, but say a couple had a falling out, the woman got upset about something the man did. If they sat down and agreed that they did not want to be upset with each other, all they have to do is put themselves in the context that they have one last day to spend together......and decide how they want to spend it. I could be wrong, but I doubt it would be pissed at each other.......It would probably be doing something they both enjoy or have talked about doing but as yet have not done. Hell, maybe they spend the day in bed!!!

The difference is the version of themselves that they choose to be. My friend playing devil's advocate countered with, "yeah, but the issue isn't resolved". Yeah, but the version of who they are for that day does not care......it's irrelevant, and how many "issues" when it comes right down to it are irrelevant?

Okay, Okay......I'll be practical.........just because the couple had an issue, does not mean they need to grant it the authority of a conclusion. In other words, change your assessment of it or as Marcus would say "revoke your estimate of the external thing causing you distress".


If you knew your potential to feel good, you would ask nobody to be different so that you can feel good. You would free yourself of all that cumbersome impossibility of needing to control the world or needing to control your mate or your child. You are the only one that creates your reality, for nobody else can think for you, it is only you.

Abe

This one is tricky, "the cumbersome impossibility of needing to control your mate or child". Ouch!!! But true!! This is perplexing, shouldn't we as parent's control our children? Well, How did that work out for your parents? I don't know very many "Adults" that have the track record of never having done stupid things or having never totally fucked up at some point in their life.......I'm much more down with guiding my boys to understand the last sentence, "You are the only one that creates your reality, for nobody else can think for you, it is only you."

From a parenting standpoint, I think its much more responsible to teach our kids to think for themselves including how to make the right decisions for themselves, but I also know that is counter to the conventional parenting wisdom.......you know the wisdom that at a certain age, you know what is best for someone else..........or the wisdom that ascribes to a government mandate on education, but I'm digressing.......You get my point!!

There is nothing "out there" independent of what's happening inside of me. In other words what's happening "out there" is very much affected by what I have going on inside of me, my mind, my thoughts and emotions. Without my thoughts and feelings the external world would be very much different. Now think about that, the impact that mine and your thoughts have on what is happening outside of us, in everyone Else's experience.

Fred Alan Wolf

This one is tricky as well. You have witting and unwitting thoughts and beliefs......you know that, right? Some of both, the witting and unwitting do not serve us and or actually work against us. The belief that "you" are the "effect" of the external world as the "cause".......and yes you do believe that to some extent!!!........you know when you get upset or frustrated or sad when something doesn't go your way, or someone does not comply with your desires......like your mate or your child.........or the classic "Your Ex". That is the world being the cause and you being the effect. Hell, It's a daily occurrence for most people.

That backward cause and effect perspective is an unwitting belief. It's not deliberate, it's by default.........and it's wrong. You are the cause of your external experience...........You see things because you believe them........not what most people think which is the old saying "I'll believe it when I see it"........I've got news for you, You ain't gonna see it if you don't believe it.

Now the tricky part to Dr. Quantum's, it's actually the good part. You have a local and a non-local aspect of you. You know, like particle and Wave function. The particle aspect of you is the "I am a man" or "I am a Father".......think of it as "I am" followed by a predicate. I am tired, or I am disappointed is the local or particle aspect of You in play. The non-local or Wave aspect of you is just "I am", its the you that when you are in deep thought or meditation "just is" not attached to anything. The Wave aspect of you is not in you or even this world, just the opposite, they are in the Wave aspect of you. Doink!!!

Now, think of a wave more as a verb rather than a noun, potential rather than a thing........that non-local, wave, aspect of You is infinite potential. And as infinite potential, that is where every version of you exists. So get quiet, get still, clear out your thoughts........and rest in the "I amness" of your non local self. Now choose the version of you that you wish to be, and reside in that self for just a minute or maybe two. Feel what the self feels like........and don't be surprised if you catch yourself smiling, nothing wrong with that..........you are creating from that version of you and guess what? The Universe only knows, Okay, here you go.

This is what the voice was talking about at the burning bush when Moses asked the voice, "Who shall I tell the Pharaoh sent me to attain the release of the slaves". The voice simply said, "Tell him 'I am that I am", meaning I am the I am that is the infinite potential to make that which serves take place. Make sense? The voice didn't say "I am the ruler of the universe" which would be limiting, no Moses heard, I am that I am...........I am one with all that is, ever was or will be.........and guess what? You have that aspect as well...........just choose to be "I am"!!!

Note to Self!!!...I'm letting Go with help from Rickie Byars Beckwith

I am letting go, and I know the darkness will fade. I am letting go of the thoughts that I am separate and just my body. There's a light all around me, the pain in my thoughts has kept me holding on but I know that is not Me. I feel I'm letting go. I'm ready to run and I'm ready to leap into what is real knowing that Heaven's at hand right now always right here, closer than my breath, nearer than my thoughts.

New life is awaiting while I'm rearranging these old facts of my life. The infinite potential that is ours is becoming fact as I remember I am not this body, I am not bound by limiting thoughts or beliefs. I am deliberately reincarnating today as an extension of all that is.

I am tired of holding on, my heart's making an authentic appeal. I am moving from my old mind to my new mind by getting out of my head and into my heart. It's such a sweet invitation, a mandate of ecstasy to not hold any longer to my willful desires. I'm allowing and residing in alignment with all that corresponds with mine and all that is for the highest good.

I'm letting go of my will, dropping my tools and following my highest goal of being in the flow of the Universe. I won't abide in my vision, it's time to release, I'm the light within that's trying to be free and I allow it. I am the Universe being itself through me.

I feel like letting go of negative emotion. Frustration is only me being stuck in the thoughts of being separate and needing anything. I Let go, and let God/Universe. The power of God/Universe is guiding me to surrender to what I've got to be, The Universe being itself through me. Pure Positive Well being and Love, I am residing in that. I am residing in knowing that we are not separate, but all connected, all powerful, all knowing.....we are Love, we are the energy and intelligence and Love that created all that has ever been, all that is and all that ever will be. Never been born, Never will die.

I'm letting Go of the impossibility of controlling anything outside of me. Knowing that when I'm in alignment all things are possible. Knowing that when I'm in alignment with my true essence, anything can be that I identify with, that I reside in, that I become in resonance or correspondence with. With Alignment all things are bountiful because I need nothing and so I have everything.

As I let go, the darkness fades, I rest in letting go for I know I don't get what I want, I get who I am. When I get still and reside in the knowing that I create every moment and I am deliberate in being the version of myself that is in alignment with the source of all things, pure positive Love and all powerful, all things other than joy and well being will cease to be.

You are always getting what you are intending....

Always!!! No exception!!!

"But I didn't intend for that to happen!!" I hear that all the time from people. Or, "Why would I have intended for that to happen?" Well, in both cases, the individual is not aware of what they are intending........One of my mentors calls those "unwitting intentions".

The Universe, The Field, Source Energy or however you refer to it only knows "Yes"..........it says Yes to everything. So going back to those beliefs that may not even be accurate or are not serving you..........The Universe is saying "Yes" to them.

So, How do you know if you have unwitting intentions.......or beliefs that do not support what you want? Just look at your life......It's a mirror of your thoughts and beliefs..........as another mentor of mine says "You can't hide from your secret thoughts because they keep showing up as your life!!" Yes to this thought, Yes to that belief.....Yes, Yes, Yes.............Not, are you sure? Not, you might want to re-think that one...........Always Yes!!!

That's the good news!!! So, your job is to look at your life and if your not getting what you want, it just means your thoughts and beliefs are not in agreement with what you want. So get them in alignment, or in agreement.

What does that mean......Alignment or in Agreement with what you want? Embody it, rest in it!! If you simply repeat an affirmation or visualize an outcome without feeling what the outcome will be, what are you accomplishing? the exact opposite..........and the Universe always says Yes! For example, repeating the affirmation "I am healthy and full of vitality" without embodying how that feels or resting in that feeling is essentially saying "I don't have health or vitality"......and that is what you have.

Try it with something trivial but something that would be so random that you will recognize it when it happens. For instance, one person came up with the idea of while on a walk finding 3 quarters lined up on the sidewalk all with the head's up. They closed their eyes, imagined they were on the walk, came around a corner and saw the three quarters all face up. They rested in that imaginary sequence and imagined what they felt like when they picked them up, they imagined how they felt at that moment knowing they had created the scenario. They rested in the feeling of accomplishing this simple but powerful exercise. It was so palpable that they were smiling with their eyes closed as they imagined finding the quarters.

A few weeks later, they reported that they had indeed found the quarters, but when asked if the quarters were all face up, they said they were so excited at the time, they did not even notice.....but they went on to say how awesome it was. Now the funny thing and very telling about beliefs is that when the idea was proposed to do it again but this time verify that the quarters were all face up..............they scoffed at it!!! Almost as if to say, well once, yeah I could believe that, but twice? Come on!!!

This person had literally been successful in becoming a version of themselves that created the feeling inside of a scenario that they intended to have happen, a very specific scenario mind you. The scenario came to fruition, they actually lived the very specific scenario they intended.......and then when asked to do it again, fell back into a version of them self that did not believe they could do it again. Do it, then do it again!!! You can, You know!!!

Deliberate Creating.....

I was asked the other day, "What does it mean to deliberately create?" to which I replied, "Do you want the long or short answer?"

Deliberate creating is 'You" becoming the version of "You" that is in agreement with what you want. The next question after that statement was "Why would I ever not be in agreement with what I want?" Well, because for the vast majority of people, 95% of the time the version of our self that we are operating in, is conditioned habit. We are operating from the beliefs we hold in our subconscious that are formed from what we are told or learn in some fashion and what we experience regardless of the accuracy of the knowledge or perception of the experience.

So think about it, what if the beliefs we operate from are not accurate or are not congruent with what we want? Well, that's easy, we don't get what we want!!! Life is an inner process.....the inner is what causes the outer.......which means the outer is the effect of the inner. What do you think Jesus meant when he said "Go Within"?

Let me try to paint an example, take someone that has trouble trusting in relationships. In their past, they have been abused or deceived and their experience is that when they trust, they are hurt. They hold a belief that others will hurt them, and that belief prevents them from trusting. Hold that thought.

Now, all versions of "You" exist. For the person just referenced that does not trust others that version is easy to see exists, so where is the version that does trust? Well, the version that does trust is trusting fear or trusting that they will be hurt......and by resting in that version of their self (which is not so obvious to see) guess what they get? That which they are in agreement with.......being fearful and getting hurt.

If it's that easy to be in agreement with fear and being hurt and creating that experience for yourself, why would it be any more difficult in being in agreement with the version of "You" that is trusting and open? If the Universe can deliver to you being hurt based on what you have going on inside, why can't it just as easily deliver being loved based on what you have going on inside?...........Why indeed!!!

Relationship......Try this out to see how easy it is to change one!!

So, everything is about relationship.....relationship with others, with yourself (most important one), with the present moment (big one too), so how do you change the habitual thinking you have about certain relationships?

Try this out. Think of two people. The first should be the person that for you is the easiest to be around, to love, to think of, to converse with.......they are just easy to be with. The second should be the person that for you is the most annoying person that you know, if you didn't have to, you would never spend anytime with them. They are difficult to love, to think of and just be around.

Okay, so you have the two people in mind, get a piece of paper and for the person that for you is easy to Love, write down all the positive aspects of that person. This will probably be easy and will be quick.....Good.

Then, for the person that is annoying and hard to Love, write down all the positive aspects of that person, and this may seem very difficult to do, but give it some thought and you will be able to come up with a list. Write them down.

Now that your done, did you observe or sense anything as you were doing this? If you really did this from an open place, you probably felt a palpable change in feelings especially about the second person. Why? because the True YOU, knows the annoying things the second person does.......check that, the True YOU knows that all the little insignificant things that your ego finds annoying is about your ego, much more than the other person.

Now, frequently when I do this with someone, they will say, "but it's true, they do those things", but they fail to see that the only reason they become part of their experience is because they allow them to. Don't care what anyone else thinks, or does........care only about where your thoughts are, and how those thoughts make you feel.......There is nothing more important!!! That is being deliberate in managing the most important relationship of all.........the one between YOU and You.

Relationship......Life is one big series of

Everything is about Relationship. Everything!!! No exceptions. So what is your relationship with this moment? Are you in harmony with the moment, or are you in discord or contradiction or resistance. Well, how do you feel?

More than a few people have asked me why it is that at the onset of a new relationship with someone, especially a romantic relationship, everything just seems to being flowing. You know, that feeling when the other person can do no wrong, everything is going well, you experience very little frustration, and you just feel GOOD!! And then there seems to be this point where that changes and you slip back into your normal groove. What happened?

First and foremost, understand that it's not the other person that has changed anything. As a matter of fact, it was not the other person doing anything that made you feel so good initially....no it was not!! It was you!!! And then at the moment that bliss changed back to your normal routine, that was you too!!! Make no mistake.......and give yourself a little credit!!!

Credit? Why would I deliberately move from Bliss to Blah.......even if I knew how, why would I do that? Habit!! Basing your relationship with life on false premises!!! Sloppy thinking!! All true. I have talked about habit in the past, no need to revisit that here. But, have not talked about false beliefs or premises enough, so here we go again!!

Here is a big one, A flawed belief that doe snot serve you in any positive way. #1. To be in Harmony and Bliss with another person, we have to want and believe the same things.

Seems like common sense, but it's not. Truth be told, to be in harmony and be in bliss with anything, you must have Harmony between YOU and you.......YOU, your true, ineffable, eternal YOU and you that is experiencing your physical life. Okay, so how do I do that?

Think about the beginning of a relationship when everything is going so well. It's nothing that the other person is doing that causes that, it's YOU!! Your True self, the ineffable, eternal YOU is pure positive energy. That YOU sees only positive aspects of everything, and in essence the other person that you think is making life so blissful, is actually just a catalyst for you being in harmony with your True Self. Put another way, You are not using the other person to disconnect or jump out of alignment with YOU. And you spend much more time in alignment with your true self appreciating positive aspects of everything. You are more creative, you have more energy, enthusiasm, you become solution oriented.......because the more positive thoughts that you have, the more are attracted to you. That is BIG, re-read it again!!!

So at that dreaded point when the relationship changes, you think it's the other person has changed, or they have done something that they are no longer deserving of your Love, or any number of other rationalizations to explain what happened. Truth be told, is that the relationship has changed, but its the relationship You have with YOU.......You moved out of alignment with your True Self and your not seeing the positive aspects of Life that you were seeing before.........and you start seeing the aspects of life that support what you (ego you, in a dysfunctional relationship with the present moment) already believe (and what if your beliefs are not accurate or do not serve you)....like, relationships always turn out this way, or I'm not worthy, I don't deserve to be this happy, or relationships are drama and here it comes.......laugh, but you know it's true, stupid, but true!!

So, When You care so much about another person that You don't allow what they do or think to knock you out of alignment with your True Self, can you see a level of commitment that is rarely observed. There is nothing more important to you and everyone else for that matter, then your own well being.......because your well being is what allows you to expand and grow, which causes others to expand and grow........that is Life expanding through YOU, as YOU......and as You in the physical experience we refer to as our life.

So what is your relationship with YOU?? Are you seeing the positive aspects of everything? Or are you seeing what supports what you already believe?........It's your choice, choose well!!

I Love you so much....I don't care what you think!!!

Oooh!! That feels so good to say and reside in. If I cared what you thought and then changed because of what you thought of me.............where does that leave me? Well, inauthentic to begin with, but worse yet, in resistance to my true Self...........or out of alignment. Well, Fuck that!!!

I can see many people saying, thats kind of narcisistic, or that's so self centered or selfish. Yep!!! What is more important than your own well being? Nothing!!!

Maybe I can tone it down a bit. I care about you so much, and our relationship means so much to me that while I respect your opinions, I know compromising my own well being by conforming to your expectations is disrespectful to both you and I. When I am aligned with my true self and all that I hold dear to me, that is when our relationship is thriving. That is when I am at my best and when our relationship is at it's best.

Mainstream thinking does not value this approach..............but its easy to do, just go with how you feel. The next time someone tells you that they want you to do a certain thing or behave a certain way, just stop and see how it feels..............if there is the least bit of resistance (negative emotion) whatever you do, don't do it...........Just tell the person you respect their request, but your not going to comply because it does not feel right. Then, you will probably need to explain to the other person that by not complying, it does not mean you don't care about them......and it's actually the opposite.........You care about them so much and your relationship with them that you are going to insure you stay as aligned with your True Self as possible even if that means not caring whast they think!!!!

OMG WTF!!!! Seriously!!! There is nothing more important than your well being, Nothing!! To yourself and everyone that you interact with.........NOTHING!!!!

You can't hide from your thoughts, because they just keep showing up as your life.............So if you spend the vast majority of your time in a state of Joy or well being, what will show up?? A life that is delicious!!!