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Saturday, February 26, 2011

Aligned Parenting 1.2

Our Children learn not from what we tell them or even what they watch us do, they learn from what we "are". They sense if we are in contradiction or resonance with our true selves very easily and correspond to that state without even knowing it consciously. They really do, research demonstrates this over and over. The challenge is seeing what the research is showing rather than what we may have been conditioned to see.

As an example, research has shown that diseases like Cancer or Heart disease is genetic. The research shows that generations and generations of a family have the disease which makes it very easy to deduce that the disease is genetic. What in reality the research shows is the opposite. In the same study, Children that were adopted into the families (thus having different genetics) also manifested the disease, while in their own family lines, the disease never manifests. What the researchers miss because of a mechanistic foundation of their training, is that the cause of the disease manifesting is not genetics but the environment. The environment of the family is predicated upon the contradiction or resonance with the true selves or the family members, specifically the adults.

Now, obviously this is not deliberate, and that is the point. By being haphazard in thinking we align ourselves with what we have been conditioned to take as real or the 'way things are" and for the most part, we get that all wrong. Allopathic medicine at it's basis is backwards. It's very mechanistic, treating the body as a watchmaker might a broken pocket watch. Something is not working, replace it or treat it with medicine. It's all very reactive, and don't get me wrong, it saves lives, but does not address the real issue. But for many people, our thinking is very much the same, it is reactive. Our thoughts have us based upon what we observe or experience. When we have our thoughts and become curious we begin seeing that things are not always what we perceive them to be.

When we have our thoughts or when we are deliberate about beliefs and feelings, we become more resonant with our True Self, and when our thoughts have us and we are not deliberate about our beliefs and feelings and how they affect us, we are in contradiction with our True Self. make sense?

Ok, back to aligned parenting. So our kids learn from what we are, and they also mirror back to us what we are (especially young ones), and what I mean by that is the state that we are in. Or in other words, the state that we find ourselves in because of what we take to be real. When we are open to this idea, we can look at our children's behavior or condition and see it from a metaphoric standpoint, and see if there something to be learned about ourselves.

How many times have you experienced with your own child or heard stories about someone else's child displaying behavior that just made no sense and as much cajoling or time outs or other consequences that were attempted, the behavior persisted. The behavior may have manifested as correspondence to the state of the parent. As an example, a four year old, whenever it rained would go out onto the front porch and remove a plant from it's planter and dripping water and mud deposit it on the front room carpet. The parents tried everything to curtail the mess making to no avail. When the father was asked what dirt had he and his wife been 'sweeping under the rug' (the metaphor) his immediate response was "Finances". Once the couple began communicating about the finances and openly discussing how best to address their situation, the child never made the mess again.

If your child has behavior that you just don't understand and regardless of what you do, it persists, ask yourself some curious questions like;
- What does that mean?
- Is there something I have not taken care of that this might be indicative of?
- Is there someone that I have not forgiven that this might be related to?
- What state might I be spending time in that this is a reflection of?
- Or any other inquiry that comes to mind.
Just see what comes. You might be surprised, and if you address your contradiction and the behavior stops, don't be surprised. Be empowered, and become more thoughtful about being resonant with your True Self. Your children can be great teachers and in closing, don't beat yourself up over behavior your child might be displaying, they may have chosen to come into this life as your children for the purpose of teaching you if you are open to that.

2 comments:

  1. Our kids are our best teachers! Today, for example, Kallee was whining and driving me crazy...I was just about to yell at her when I had this thought, "Yelling will not help the situation." My kids are working hard to teach me patience!

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  2. And you are obviously a good student. When's lunch again?

    ReplyDelete